The loss of my husband will be so clear this weekend.
I am going to VA Beach tomorrow with my family for my brother to run a half marathon. This is his first big run since he has been cancer free. I remember getting that phone call almost 2 years ago, my brother had stage III cancer. Derek sat here on the couch with me and held me as I cried, we had only know each other less than 2 months. He was amazing...he told me we would do whatever needed to be done, move to Richmond, whatever I/my family needed. I knew from that moment on that Derek and I would be such good team mates. And that we were. We could handle anything together and now I am all alone.
SO, we were suppose to go this weekend with my family together to support my brother. This would be our first vacation with my family. I have waited a LONG time to have someone who was willing to be with my family, this was going to be the first time ever I finally had someone/a husband to go on a family vacation with me. We were so excited to go together. But that isn't going to happen now. I am still going to go support my brother and be with my family, no matter who hard it will be. I just wish I wasn't going alone, I wish I didn't have to do anything alone.
Please say an extra prayer or two or three for me this weekend that I will have peace and joy as I celebrate with my brother and family. We truly have so much to be thankful for.
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Melissa, I hope you can find some peace and joy this weekend! I'm sure it will be bittersweet, celebrating your brother while missing Derek. You all will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers this weekend especially. :)
ReplyDelete~Jennifer Dierker
You are in my thoughts! I cannot imagine how you are feeling - but it looks like you are making good choices and working on your feelings. I pray for peace for you.
ReplyDeleteI can not imagine! I would like to point you in the direction of another blog I read, you might find a "friend" there. http://taleoftwocoins.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteI know you don't know me but I am truly sorry for your loss. I am sure that Derek will be with you in spirit and cheering on your brother! I know words cannot ease the pain. Good luck to both you and your brother!
ReplyDeleteKristin
Houston, TX
I left a comment earlier but have no clue where it went. I am so sorry for your loss! I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope your weekend goes well and your brother does great!
ReplyDeleteHello, I just found your blog and had to tell you that reading you story I felt like I was reading my mom's story. My mom had been married to my dad for 25 years, then they divorced. A few years later my mom met Wes, she actually interviewed him for a job, lol. Her and Wes, after he was not given the job, went out on a date which led to a couple more. when led to a proposal and a marriage. Although my mom and dad had been married for 25 years, Wes was definitly my mom's soul mate, I am married and I do love my husband, yet I still yearn for a love like her and Wes had. One night, almost 2 years after their meeting, Wes passed away suddenly. He had went hunting, hiked up big hills that day, he was thin and he appeared very healthy, yet he had a heart attack and passed away. He was 42. That was 7 years ago, she has now remarried again, she loves her new husband but it's not the same soul mate kind of love she had with Wes, but she is happy (and of course still misses Wes deeply).
ReplyDelete(((((HUGS))))) and prayers to you! I hope you are able to find the same strength that my mom was able to find. Hope you have a good weekend and it's not too hard.
Hi Melissa,
ReplyDeleteMy heart completely goes out to you. I know this weekend will be difficult, but as you do those hard things, it will get easier over time, I promise. I can promise this because I, too, lost my husband (through suicide). We were married for 16 years and had 6 children ages 2 through 15. If you would like to read my story, just come to my blog and click on the "About Us" tab under my header, or if you would like to communicate with me as someone who has been there, please, please, please feel free to email me at mom2my9 (at) gmail (dot) com. Good luck to you and I will definitely keep you in my prayers as so many did for me. There is a real power in that.
Oh, I also wanted to tell you that I think that this is SUCH a wonderful idea you have to keep a blog about your thoughts and emotions. Talking about my husband's death helped SOOO much and I KNOW this will help you.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to "D", if you don't mind sharing...? If you don't want to talk about it here, I understand.
ReplyDelete